Back home

Shiva and Parvati. She was sooooo curvaceous. The ancients were into hips and boobs.

A many armed incarnation of Shiva.

Well, I'm back in one piece and it's great to be in my little house. Just going through my photos this afternoon. Unfortunately in the last internet cafe where I put on the Elephanta photos a man 'helped' me. Which has resulted in him removing all my last Bombay pictures from my camera. Thank you very much helpful man. At the moment I'm looking at Google pictures to see if I can find the carvings of Parvati and Shiva, which I'd like to add. Yes, more carvings! Plus I want to add some pictures from the backwaters. Maybe I can find something on line. Well, I'm going to miss this blogging lark. It's great coming home and not having to retell stories to people. Everybody knows about my holiday...really surreal. Catherine says I should continue with Bardeninbicester. But sorry it just doesn't have a ring to it. And hey, what the hell would I write? For a start I'd probably piss my nearest and dearest off.

Flight back was fine apart from circling around Heathrow for about 1 hour. No one to pick me up. So had to hang around Gloucester Green waiting for the Bicester bus. Jesus, it was freezing. Had to open my bag and take out a couple of scarves. But good to be back. Especially the joy of cleaning my teeth with TAP water. Yeah.

Bloody hell my photos upload in seconds on my computer. Wow, I can add loads more and bore you all even more stupid!! I got a great angle on Parvati with her amazing shape. Thank you so much 'helpful' man.

My bed was so comfortable last night I slept so well. Soft pillows and duvets are the amber nectar. I've got my Indian perfume on so I can be transported back in an instant. really important because it's bloody foul weather here.

Last Morning

Right it's 8.45 and I've just checked my emails to see if Air India have delayed the flight. It all looks on time. Lets hope it all goes smoothly. Last night I was sooooooo tired I just had to sleep and sleep. Everything finally just caught up with me, so didn't really get a final night feeling of Bombay. But hey, at least I feel good today. yesterday I just left my guide book at home and went wandering round the city getting completely lost. It's funny asking locals for directions because they all kinda send you the same way but with wild flapping arm gestures. Straight on could mean anything so I have to calm them down and ask 'straight on meaning which direction?'. I just got lost in a book shop yesterday. What a funny place I went to. The Strand Bookshop is something out of the 1940s. Books randomly piled everywhere and little old hobbit like men to help you search for anything you want. Saw loads of interesting stuff but I know my bag is almost up to critical mass so I had to control myself. Ended up in Fabindia again,My favourite clothes and house shop. Just had to buy a bright yellow bedspread and also the maddest skirt. It's a Ghurka skirt, really wide and swingy and right down to the floor. I know I'll look a bit eccentric wandering around Bicester in it but I don't care. I fell madly in love with it and would have bought 2 if I'd liked the other patterns.
Colaba, my end of town was absolutely packed when I got back late afternoon. It was too much for me so I dived into a pretty grim ex pat bar for some beers. Finally drunk the old favourite COBRA beer! Found it at last. It's brewed in the UK and imported here and only for sale in Maharastra province. Beer here is tightly controlled and heavily, heavily taxed. Anyway because I'm a lightweight now the beer zonked me out (Along with the heat and the hours of walking round the city). Right time to go. Taxi is coming soon, coz it's rush hour they say it will take over 2 hours to get to the airport. Great. Must go. I'm going to add some more crap when I get back home.

Bombay

Three headed shiva. The destroyer, ugly face on left, calm face in the middle and female face on the right. Very dark but at last the woman puts the carving in perspective

The faces on these sculptures are still really beautiful despite the Portugese using them for target practice in the early 17th century.

Met and seen some interesting people today along with some amazing carved lumps of rock. Got up late and watched English IndianTV this morning. A kind of 2 hairy bikers cookery programme around India, but they don't cook they just go into restaurants and discuss the food and then this well weird fat old woman who looked really scary making cocktails and necking them and getting all kinda horny and excitable about them. It was revolting and I was intrigued by how gross it was. This was about 10am and in my opinion one of the most affective government health warnings I've ever seen.

Finally gave my trousers to this really great tailor, he told me I had been truely duped and there wasn't much hope for them. He even showed me how the stitching was already coming apart. Oh well, live and learn.

Then I got on the boat to Elephanta Island. Bombay harbour is a tad ugly, not exactly a stunning vista but Elephanta was amazing. It's an ancient retreat for worshippers of Shiva and in the 6th century they carved out these massive gods from just single pieces of rock. The cave was out of this world and the three headed shiva was MASSIVE! In my guide book it is written that this particular site is better than the 2nd most popular site in India. (I think this is their way of having a stab at the Taj Mahal.)

Well, stayed in the caves for ages looking at all the gods and trying to remember who was who. I love it that Ganesh, the god with the elephant head, rides around on a mouse. No luck with the photos today this computer is crap. Same problem as when I arrived.

Then I met this guy from Kyrgistan, think that's how you spell it. He was really strange and he kept telling me he wasn't a traveller but a world knowledge collector. (What? a bully bullshitter more like). Anyway, he'd come to India without a visa from Tibet, There was no border crossing where he crossed over. He'd left tibet coz of the political trouble and now is in deep shit here because he can't leave without a visa and can't stay in any hotels because they all want your visa number. He was going to Elephanta Island to see if he could stow away out of India on a boat to the middle East. if he's caught he'll go to jail. Bloody mad situation.

after I'd had my fill of rocks and the hindu gods I went for a Foster's in the bar and saw a group of toursits who reminded me of Italians, they were all laughing and being loud and were all amazingly well dressed. Got chatting to them and found out they were all Zoroastrians from Iran. I've finally met a group of people from the most amazing religion ever invented! We had a chat and they liked it that I knew a bit about their faith but unfortunately their ENglish wasn't too good. I was so excited I forgot to ask if I could take a photo of them.

Then on the 'deluxe' boat home I paid the extra 10 Rs to go on the top deck. Nobody was up there apart from this really awful Indian guy (A kinda Indian Maxwell look alike, the Newspaper geezer who died on his boat) and this really young attractive girl. He just kept putting her into poses and taking photos and she would do anything he wanted and he kept pawing her. I felt quite naseous and it wasn't because of sea sickness. But yet I stayed because I wanted to feel the sun on my face. Really horrible situation to witness though. Maybe he was 'helping' her get a portfolio together for Bollywood.

Tonight I went the full hog and ate at the best 5 star restaurant in Bombay. Walked there and the streets were just full of people and kids and cows and crap on the pavements and blatent poverty and as soon as you entered the Taj it was like another world. I met a class of Indians whoI just haven't met before. They just stay cacooned in their massive cars, houses and luxury hotels,live the high life and never have to witness the day to day living of the majority in the city. It was an education and the hotel was amazing..I spose I'm impressed because I haven't been into that many 5 star hotels.(Well, not since I lived in Thailand. ) Anyway the food was expensive and pretty good but I've eaten better stuff. Especially in that working man's cafe in Bangalore!!

Back in Bombay

Outside the Jain temple in Bombay. I think I've caught the perfect posture of Indian women.

Just 1 rupee for a local call with these phones!

An illegal shot taken in a Jain temple of the black buddha. There was no one to see me take it so I quickly snapped away. Ive probably buggered up my karma.

Well it's good to be back. There is something about this place which just makes me feel so happy. It also makes me shop for loads of junk from street markets. Sorry not junk, what am I writing, it's all really tasteful and top quality merchandise. ( mostly presents for you lot. Ha hA!)
Had breakfast on the top of the cliff and said goodbye to the sea. Went for a short walk but didn't have any suncream on and within minutes I could feel my skin frying. Got a white Government of India taxi to Thiruvananthapuram airport. Bet none of you can pronounce that city. The taxi driver stopped in Varkala at a flower shop and run out for about 10 minutes and came back with streams and streams of jasmine and lillys. I thought they were for me but he piled the front seat up with them and said they were all for his wife because it was her birthday today. the smell for that hour in the taxi was amazing. He did give me a small thread of jasmine when I got out the taxi.
The flight back here was probably one of the easiest and most customer service led flights I've ever been on. When I come back to India I'm going to fly back here from the UK with Jet. For two hours I sat and watched the South West coast of India below me. It was really beautiful. Plus the flight guide was crammed full of recipes and information on the 27 UNESCO sites in India. I've seen four I think. Only 23 go!
Survived the mad taxi drive back down to the same hotel as before. So I was able to direct the driver here. Had all the kids and beggars waving things at me and shoving bits of their bodies through the window. Gave a limbless man 20 Rs and some coins just to see the logistics of how you pass over something to an armless man. He just waggled his head at his top pocket in his shirt. He had it all sorted out!
Trying to put some of my old Bombay pictures on here. But again the computers are just so slow.
My room is better than the original room I had. Bigger and more modern, I think they like it that I've come back. Rushed out of the hotel as quickly as possible, signing in to any place here takes ages because they have these big ledgers they have to fill in, and I just about caught the sunset. Found an arabic area and they were having big processions with horses and gold and silver carts and big bands. It was mental just walking into that and yes, no glasses spray, so no pictures! Sat down with some of the Arabs and drank sherbet. Bloody hell, only three days left to drink as much lemon sherbet as possible. Then went on my shopping binge, the market area seems much quieter. I really feel like it's the end of the season. Perfect for me though! Then it was time for more food, yeah...yippee. this time Rogan Josh with saffron rice. It was so rich and filling and I also had a really creamy mango lassi, I think I might vomit from over indulgence. (Sorry, that's grim!)
Then back to do more shopping and finally back here to my first ever internet cafe I used in India. It's the full circle. I can't believe I have travelled right down to the bottom of India and have now got back again in one piece! It's all (touch wood), been such fun, and so interesting and unfortunately it'll all be over soon. But hey, I'm actually looking forward to getting home too. I miss all my friends and family and even hanging out at work!! Has my big parcel arrived at Lake yet?

Varkala Easter Monday

Easter Sunday about 6.45pm

About 6.50pm

about 6.55pm

Top of the cliff.

Watching the waves.

View from North end of Varkala beach.

Been up and wandering around since 9am this morning getting some great pictures because the sun has come out to play. Last night there was a window of about 5 minutes when the sunset was amazing and yes, I got some photos of that too (In between spraying on the cleaning fluid!) I'm so hot I think I'm going to have a brain seizure. (Don't worry I'm exaggerating for comic affect.) Right going to put on the photos, cool down and then go back into the blazing, humid heat because I'm a sucker for punishment.

This so called broadband place is bloody slow. Just been reading the news about the snow. Ate red snaper last night with Jo German, Helen and this bonkers Italian guy called Renato. He's in his 50s and a DJ (yeah, pull the other one) and has just bought himself an Enfield Motorbike to drive around the sub continent. Enfield Bullets, or whatever the name, is are pretty cheap here and lots of guys are putting their lives at risk riding around on them. We are all going to meet up again for a group dinner tonight.

Found some tailors shops here and have my terrible trousers in my bag but it's not an easy mission they are all still closed! Do tailors work in this country? It's too late now and I'll have to wait until I get to Bombay. I fly back tomorrow afternoon. Wish I was here one more day. But also looking forward to seeing Bombay again. Really enjoyed being in that mad crazy fun city. I'm going to have a day out at the Elephant caves which are near to Bombay, at least that'll be one day of fresh air.

Easter Sunday. Varkala beach Kerala

Too much cleaning fluid on the lens makes me look better!

View from cliff top this morning. I walked right round the furthest bend to the temple.

Gates to Krishna temple. Note blue Krishna dude in the chariot!

The fishermen singing and hauling in the nets.

Mr Prasanan rowing me. The only photo from an amazing morning. At least I got ONE before the camera died.

Mr Prasenan's house. The day before the backwater canoe.

Temple above the shops in Allepy

NOTE: The written order of this entry has messed up somehow. I'll leave you to sort it out coz I don't know how to cut and paste on this thing. Hope it makes sense.

Wow, even in the rain this place is amazing. Infact maybe the cloud and rain ADD to the atmosphere! Yes, I'm an eternal optimist. It reminds me of the wilds of Western New Zealand beaches and is stunningly beautiful. It's so humid BUT my skin feels great. really smooth, like I'm having a continuous sauna. Met a lone women travellers today whilst I was out walking trying to find the Hindu temple to krishna, us three were the only people mad enough to go walking in the mist and rain. Going to have dinner with them later, it'll be good to have company .My camara only works now if I spray it with my glasses cleaning fluid. It's an inspired find and seems to be doing the job but I'm going to run out of fluid soon. Right, lets try some pictures, problem is this computer is pretty slow. It's going to be a long blog whilst I wait for them to upload!

Yesterday in Allepy was a complete rain fest. I ended up playing chess with one of the lads from the hotel. I'm crap at chess but somehow managed to beat him, I think he let me win. Got the train to Varkala at 3.30. there are computerized machines everywhere and as long as you know the train number you can check on its progress. My train was runnin 63 minutes late. I got chatting to these girls from Bangalore, well kinda in sign language, and all they wanted to do was stroke my white arm. Very odd. But they kept an eye on my bags whilst I kept checking on the train progress, it was now 48 minutes late. Train was fine and very beautiful views. Everything obviously is so green and lush. Got a rickshaw to my place about 9pm and it's great. The biggest room I've stayed in yet and soft bed and sqidgy pillow. Came to the cliff face for dinner and had a couple of beers, which was bliss and slept like a log. Right, last picture of me is uploading. Got to have some with me in. Looking forward to loads of fish this evening. Got to go for another shower!

Slept in this morning and had a LONG bucket shower. It will all end soon and one of my pleasures is the showering, so I'm going to really revel in them now. Bought a brollie and after breakfast went walking. Through mud, puddles and the ocean, but my Thai toilet shoes can handle anything. Stumbled on a mosque which is on the beach hidden by the palm trees and later after I'd met Connie, the German we went to the Hindu temple, A special one for Krishna. The top half of this beach is incredibly holy for Hindus but all around were OAPs trying to sell us hash. Most bizarre! Bumped into more fishermen who were singing shanties and after 3 hours of walking ended back at the North cliff, where all the tourists are based. Met Helen at a cafe, whe's reading the same book as me and of course we got chatting and later we will all meet up. helen came out via Delhi, did an organised tour for a week up in the North and is now down here on her own.

Allepy Wet friday and saturday

Last night slept really well the guys who run the hostel I'm staying in gave me this badminton raquet thing which when you turn it on fries all the mozzies. The strings are all electric and also they gave me this plug in mozzie killer too plus I had a net, so no worries.
It rained all night and when my alarm went off at 5am it was still raining. Bloody hell, I was going out in a canoe. Got in my pre booked rickshaw and met Mr Prasenan my rower and his little mate who rowed at the back. When we started off at 6 it was still dark and surprisingly NOT raining. It was really peaceful and magical. I got one photo of Mr Prasenan and some trees and water and then my camera lens messed up again because of the rain, so Jane's luck really kicked in and I have one picture of the highlight of my holiday. OK it was raining and overcast but I saw so much in that canoe because, unlike the big boats, we could go down the back alleys! Saw people washing in the river and cleaning their teeth and even washing their bullocks! (which help them in the paddie fields) We stopped for tea, coconuts and even partook in helping the locals rebuild their temple buy buying raffle tickets. Mr Prasenan's family live along the river so we just kept stopping off for chai and chats. But most of the people couldn't speak English. It was so beautiful and I'm going to have to come back and do it in good weather and with a camera! He had also prepared breakfast for us too, which was boiled bananas and the most delicious duck eggs. The big bananas here are too tough to eat so obviously everybody boils them. i was supposed to be back at 11am but we paddled back about 1.30. So pretty good really. It was a real bonus seeing the proper village life which happens on the backwaters. the big boats just can't fit down these narrow canals. If it wasn't still raining I would do it all again today.

When I returned to my hotel I chatted to the guys who run it. We talked about so much, one thing about Indians they always seem up for a chat and the more questions the better. So we discussed the communist party, which runs Kerala at the moment (Although all the guys said really it is just a fundamental Hindu party) Weird. Kerala has the world's only freely elected communist government. We talked about farming and the patents which big agro businesses have stolen from the Indians giving them the sole right to produce Basmati rice. And the way rice seeds don't germinate any more, forcing poor farmers to fork out more money to buy rice seeds every year. hence making the big companies, like monsanto, richer and richer. They all seemed pretty passionate about it all and for me it was interesting too.

Yesterday was a wash out really and the power went off for hours too (It's now Saturday) I'm off to Varkala (Kerelan beach resort)in a while after I've eaten some Thali. Busses run all day. haven't got anything booked for tonight but because of the lack of tourists I feel OK about it. Not looking forward toooo much to a few days on a sodden beach but have to check it out and people are pretty sure the rain will stop soon. Can't find my cable for my cameara so can't put the few pictures I have of Allepy on here.

Feel a bit homesick today because I was showing Joseph, one of the hotel lads, pictures of my house and family and friends, who are on my phone camera. oh well, it's only because of the weather! Right time to go. Wish I could do that canoe trip again!

Allepy Thursday

Well I've made it to the gateway to the backwaters, Allepy itself is pretty ugly but I've found the people really helpful and kind. Unfortunately today and tomorrow are holidays for the Christians, a sizable chunk of the shopkeepers and all the bloody tailors (more on that later.) Don't even know if I'll be able to get to the resort for my canoe trip at 6am coz all the drivers will be on holiday too. It's a good 2mile walk away and I'll have to do it the pitch black. I'm going to do a trial run after I leave here and see if it's possible with a torch.

Well I'm here to moan and whinge today. Last night was a major disappointment on many levels and I felt really down last night and lonely and sad. Ahhhhhh! hey, after a month on your own in India it's amazing that it's only happened on one evening. (Well 2, the night of the evil mozzies was terrible) It's because I'm tired and my mozzie bites are really grim now and look scabby, but I've got antiseptic and iodine so I'll be OK.

Firstly I rushed back to my homestay for the cooking course and it had been cancelled because Leelu's Mum had just had a heart attack and the whole family had to run off to the hospital. really bad timing for me, I hope she's going to be OK but her cardiac arrest put stop to my culinary skills.

Didn't know what to do about food because the guy was coming with the trousers at 8pm, so I had a rushed meal down the road and got back to see the guy. OH MY GOD, the trousers are a complete disaster and because I'd paid for them in advance on my credit card there was fuck all I could do about it. I had a go at the man but he didn't care, he'd got my money. He did take them back to the warehouse for an hour or so to adjust them but still no luck. he didn't measure me properly so my waistband is high, I look a bit like Harold Bishop from neighbours and there is no distinction between hip and waist (Boy cut trousers) and my crotch is too low so when I sit down I look like a European pre-op lady boy. Legs are too tight and just terrible. So this afternoon I've been going around in a rickshaw with a lovely driver trying to find a tailor which is open so they can adjust them. Don't even know if it's going to be possible. But NO LUCK. Hopefully I'll sort it out in Bombay. Oh well I'll learn from this mistake but I just trusted that he would do a good job. What a joke.

Again because of the evil mozzies and heat I just didn't sleep well last night and this morning I was quite glad to leave Cochin behind. the rickshaw drivers and shop assistants had just about done my head in. They are all desperate to relieve you of all your money and it really wears you down having to ignore them all the time. My rickshaw driver almost refused to take me to the boat jetty saying he would drive me to Allepy for 500 Rs, about 8 quid. I had to shout at him to take me where I wanted to go and nearly had to try and get out of the moving vehicle with all my luggage. 8 quid isn't much I know for an hour and a half drive, but in a rickshaw it would have killed my back and the ferry to Ernakulam is 3 Rs and the bus from there to Allepy, which was pretty comfortable and high up so I got a good view, was 35 Rs. So you can see the difference. But yet again on my bus journeys I was the absolutely unique white person. Where are all the independent travellers? They are nowhere near me! This was my first journey in the light and I saw lots of interesting things A Hindu elephant procession with all the umbrellas but we'd passed it before I could get my camera out, loads of singing Christians with candles and somber faces. Political rally car and some great shop banners. My favourites were "The supreme pea shop" "Chavi shop" "Teenage Gentlemen's fashion" and "The Non-Unreliable shop" What?!

Well I hope this canoe thing works OK tomorrow, feel a bit dubious about the whole affair at the moment. I'm in such a Christian area I think everything might just close down! If so, eat a hotcross bun for me and please have a drink for me too. Never ever have I EVER been so sober, it's driving me mad! Never has the thought of a cold beer been so tempting. I think I'm going to wander around and find a 5 star hotel, I'm sure they'll have a bar!

Wednesday 19th. Fort Cochin

Beach, boys and bikes.

Outside the Jain temple.

Women's spice selling cooperative.

Ayervedic medicine world distribution centre!

Ginger exchange. Exported all over the world.

High class brahmin temple

Chatting to the fishermen!

Fisherman and silver fish

Chinese fishing nets

Kathakali show

Kathakali face painting before the show.

Have done so much I need to write this down so I don't forget. Got an hour or so before my cooking class. I'm going to make chapatis and fish curry plus it's raining like every bloody afternoon here! The monsoon shouldn't start until June.
Anyway, I had a bit of crap fish meal last night. Bought the fish from the chinese fishing boat men and a little wide boy with a gammy leg said he'd cook it for me in his restaurant. I strangely said yes to this and went back after the kathakali show(more about that later) and the restaurant was well grubby and shoddy. He kept trying to chat me up and the sardines tasted like shit. I said that if he'd poisoined me I was gonna kill him. He said he'd look forward to me trying. Luckily I feel fine today. I have a stomach of iron,infact my stomach feels great here in Southern india. Perfect food for me. Touch wood.
Kathakali show was something else. Very atmoshpheric, lots of Hindi whailing and miming and strange eye movements. It was a story from the Ramayana and resembled something between the 2 ugly sisters and Punch and Judy An hour of it was enough and the half hour before when they were applying the makeup was fantastic.

Anyway hopefully I'm gonna add loads of photos today. My camera is full now and I'm moving them all over to disk and it's taking a while.
Last night I got eaten to death by Mosquitos. It was a nightmare. I just couldn't sleep and at 5am I was still awake. Creams, lotions and potions just don't work and my hips and back look like the himalayas. Luckily my face is untouched otherwise I'd look like quosimodo. Because I slept yesterday morning I feel fine today and hopefully now that I have industrial bhopal strength spray i will sleep tonight.

So today I hung out with the fishermen this morning and helped bring in the catch and drunk tea with them. I walked around and saw Portugese buildings, English parade ground, syrian orthodox churchcatholic church, which was full of people. (S'pose coz it's Easter)Brahmin high class temple (which I couldn't enter) Mosque, Jain temple ,Gujarati temple ,Ayervedic distribution centre ,spice exchange ,pepper exchange and women's cooperative of spices, (where I bought some more junk). Never ever ever have I smelt such a heady mix of spice, chilli and pepper. Truely astounding! This world trade system has been the life blood of this area since the destruction of Solomon's temple in Jerusalem circa bloody ages ago! Plus to top it off I've been bullied into buying two pairs of Kerelan linen trousers, not cheap but made to fit and the linen is superb. The guy will deliver them to my homestay at 8pm after the cooking. So all in all a particularly lazy day!!

Oh yeah, I'm leaving Cochin tomorrow and going on the bus to stay in Allepy for a couple of days. I need to work down to Trivandrum for the flight back to Bombay. Booked a good place in Allpey with mozzie nets and much cheaper than here. Plus I'm doing an independent tour of the backwaters by canoe. the guy will take me out from 6am until 11am on good Friday. It's gonna be amazing. Better than a house boat I think because they can't travel very far into the rivers coz they are too big and the noise of the engines frightens away all the wildlife! Maybe I'll get to see crocodiles. Jane in a canoe with crocodiles nearby is rather a scary picture

Fort Cochin Kerala

Well I've made it to the place I most wanted to visit... here I am and it's been raining HARD most of the day but still took some great photos of the fishing nets, the Dutch/Portuguese/British/Hindu palace, the Synagogue and Jewish cemetery, and Kathakali ritual dancing (Yes, I've had a busy afternoon and evening) BUT this internet place is going to close in 5 minutes so no time to upload any pictures or write much at all. Bus journey was OK. Didn't sleep a wink and we crossed the Western/southern ghats at breakneck speed around hairpin bends. Part of me was glad it was dark and another part was sad i missed the obviously amazing views. Chatted to some student Doctors when we had a food break and I was reassured to know that about a quarter of the bus had life saving techniques. Here is amazing, the place just oozes history. Loads of religions and those of no faith all just getting on with their lives with minimal bother.

Yesterday evening after I left the internet cafe i ended up in this most amazing department store in Mysore. I bought 2 skirts, (worthy Monsoon quality) under a fiver each! Bloody hell, I was on cloud nine plus a top for about 50p and everything fits me perfectly. Amazing shopping here in India! I've just collected so much stuff I'm going to have to do some more posting. Shit, I'm in the mood to write and I'm being kicked off and not a bar in sight. Yes, Cochin is a dry town. Disaster. Oh, yeah one last thing bought my arline ticket on line here tonight. About 40 quid for a one way 2 hour journey back to Mumbai.

Mysore Monday

Another of my favourite Indian friends casually strolling the wrong way up a busy road.

Random street shot in Mysore

Girls from Hampi.

Didn't sleep too well last night. For some reason rats were on my mind and I just couldn't get comfortable. Oh well, being knackered will help me sleep on the bus tonight. Nothing really planned for today. Could have gone to the tea plantations at Ooty, which is also the home of old men who roll beedis, the thin Indian cigarettes but I wouldn't have been back in time for the bus. Seen most of Mysore now and spent ages in the market this morning which is amazing but I got hassled by peddlars and gypsies and people with limbs missing and my patience was at the end of its tether. (Nothing pisses me off more than a stumpy limb being waggled in my face, I s'pose I should feel sympathy or disgust, but I feel nothing but annoyed. Does that make me really heartless?) Little boys kept asking me where I was from and to go with them to some shop and I just had to ignore them and then it just came too much for me and I had to leave the market lanes. Plus my camera wasn't working so I couldn't take any photos. I took it to a repair shop and 10 minutes later it was fixed. I'm sure in England I would have had to throw it out.

Indian cities are just PACKED with people, it's surprising that everything functions as well as it does. 70 million people just live in this state of Karnataka and all speak the Kannada language.WHich is beautiful and reminds me of Thai. Hindi, the national language is not in evidence at all but most people speak English. Questions from locals are pretty standard and go along these lines, with slight variations:

• From where you come from, madam?
• What is your good name, madam?
  
• Did you like Blair or is it the Brown better, madam?
• Are you here for business or the travel, madam?
• How many members are in it, your party, madam?
• Alone, where is your husband, madam?
• Do you have a profession madam?
• Ahh, teaching, it is a fine upstanding profession, madam.
• How much do you earn per calendar month minus the tax and other sundries, madam?

The querky formality is quite endearing and I'll miss it when I return home.

Shit, I'm having trouble with my camera it's not loading properly onto the computer and I can't see the pictures. I've got loads of pictures on it now and I have moved some to disk but not all of them. I'll be well pissed off if technology lets me down. I never have any luck with cameras. Oh well, maybe someone has an idea what's wrong or maybe it's just the water from the massive rains yesterday. A guy is helping me out now What a nightmare if I've lost them.

As you can probably tell, (if you are still reading and have got this far) I haven't got much to do and at least here I get some peace and quiet. You can't really sit and relax in restaurants in Mysore because the seats are in demand and they just put the bill under your nose. Service is super efficient here. Tourist hotels have roof gardens but they are all closed at the moment due to the rain yesterday (Which caught everyone off guard) and the inside restaurants of tourist places are dark and depressing and incredibly empty. My rule for eating is only consume 'eatables' where there are loads of other people doing the same. Plus walking around in the incredible heat and humidity at the moment is awful!

Right, computer man has fixed my camara, I'd picked up a virus from yesterday's computer. So I'll try and put on some more pictures.

Boys on the way to school in Hampi.

Let loose in the zoo, Mysore.

mysore Sunday

When I left the internet cafe last night it was pouring with rain. A torrent and the roads were almost rivers and no one was around. I rushed round the corner to my hotel and bashed straight into the biggest cow ever! It was lying across the pavement and even sitting down its head came up to my shoulders. It was huge and it really freaked me out to begin with and then I just laughed, the poor thing was as shocked as me. Cows really are the supreme power in India, they are the creatures with total freedom and all look so content and chilled out. But God, this one was a monster!

Slept well in my huge room even though there was a power cut whilst I was having a shower, that was tough feeling around in the pitch black for everything. This morning up early and I got eaten by mosquitos as I was gettting ready. Now I have really painful blisters between my toes and on my knuckles of my hands. weird creatures, mosquitos. Bought some cream and "my sores" aren't so sore any more.

Decided to do a tour today. It was with loads of Indians from the North. It was rather strange because we ended up with 2 hours in the zoo and only 40 mins this afternoon in the palace. This lack of organisation annoyed me so I decided to jump ship and not return to the tour bus. I hope they didn't wait too long for me! We also went to a Hindu shrine high up on a hill which was crammed full of worshippers and cows. It was all fun and interesting but a bit too commercial for me with hard core street traders trying to palm off rubbish wooden flutes and crappy wooden junk of some holy creature.

When we entered the zoo we had to pay for use of our camaras. It really amused me coz the guy selling the camara passes was a complete freak. He was the oldest, most perfect looking dwarf I have ever seen. When I got the pass I had to bite my tongue because i really wanted to ask if that meant I now had permission to take a photo of him. I obviously didn't (I have a few manners) but it did make me laugh and he was definitely the highlight of the zoo for me.

The palace was amazing. So big and grand. Because it's Sunday it was packed out and I felt a bit like herded cattle. The Princes of Mysore ruled for years and years until 1974. There were loads of pictures of them along with ones of Edward the 6th or 7th with his wife Alexandra and other overdressed pompous British fellows. You could see why both groups liked each other because the Brits and the princes were all into regalia, pomp and cross dressing.

I stayed in the grounds of the palace for ages and then went to the central bus station to buy my bus ticket to Cochin. yes, my last horrendous bus journey awaits me and Ive booked a few nights in a homestay with a woman who runs cookery courses. yes, I can't wait to do one of them.

Well I'm being kicked off again. the photos can't be moved but they are of the palace at night, lit by 50,ooo light bulbs only on a sunday evening between 7 and 8 pm. I ws lucky to see it. It was very beautiful and because of the rain, not many people were there. the other one of the palace is a good one at sunset. Right. I'm off. Hope i don't bump into my old friend again.

This is a cow from the shrine on the hill. For those who are into Hindu mythology (that's all of you, init!) this is the place where Durga the female incarnation of someone, killed the evil spirit living inside a bull. She was the only person with the power to kill the bull and banish the spirit. (Even strong he-men had failed.)

Mysore. Saturday

Over slept this morning. Even the morning chorus of Indian men loudly clearing their voices and spitting didn't wake me. Went for breakfast at the same restaurant as yesterday and had a wonderful masala dosa. Got the 11am train out of Bangalore it was A/C and direct and took only 2 hours but involved me having to consume a 3 course meal. The trolley boys just kept handing out the food.. No wonder some Indians are so fat. Most food in the SOuth Of India is vegetarian because it is the Hindu heartland and pure Hindus don't eat meat or drink alcohol and they seem to manage it without the back street shinnanigans of Arab countries. (I spose coz it isn't an enforced law and they could eat and drink the stuff if they so wished) It suits me coz when you see the hygine here it realy puts you off eating any kind of flesh but once I'm in Kerala I'll go for the fish.

Right my hotel here is pretty central and is a popular haunt of Tibetian monks. I've seen loads of monks in their red gowns today and MY GOD they are gorgeous. Tall, healthy, shaved heads, perfect teeth and wonderful cheekbones. I wanna touch them all but know this will result in hours of ritulistic cleaning coz of the pollution of being touched by a woman. I wanna take some photos but know thats pretty much out of bounds too. Oh well!

My room is well cruddy but the bed and floor are clean. (Bed, I have 3 beds.) Infact the room is a cavern and looks fine from the bottom half down. the top half is a crumbling, rotting mess. I just hope the fan doesn't fall on me and chop me into a thousand pieces. here are pictures of my ensuite room! Again ,sorry I can't move the picture into position. I would post the pictureof my bathroom but it would probably make the more faint hearted of my friends worry about my health and sanity!!! Bought silk today to make into a skirt and lots of other stuff. it really is a shopper's paradise here. How the hell am I gonna carry it all!

I've booked myself on an all day sight seeing tour tomorrow. So i'll get to see everything and have a guide tell me stuff. the palace will be lit up with 5000 lights at 7pm til 8pm tomorrow because it's sunday. I hope I get to see it.

left my hotel and nipped next door to a sandelwood shop and ended up buying loads of crap and chatting to them with tea and cakes. A Canadian girl was there. She's been in Mysore for 3 months doing Yoga training with a high up guru in an Ashram here. We went wandering off together around the city and ended up having dinner together. It's good to have a chat after spending so much time alone. I'm really not meeting that many tourists.

Bangalore Friday

Yesterday afternoon sat and drunk mango juice on a terrace restaurant overlooking the temple and chatted to the owner and his Dad whilst they played Grieg's piano concerto on their stero. They guy was really into his classical! Was really relaxing. Then I walked along the river and saw all the locals washing their clothes. Mostly men with all the saris and dhotis. then SHiv drove me to Hospet to catch the train He found a comfortable place on the wall for me in the station, which was packed out and left me. After he'd gone I wandered to find the 1st class waiting room.(Didn't want him to know I was going first class) Masive and empty and not much character with a huge plasma TV screen which had no signal. Train pulled in on time but our names were not on the carriage which is normal for assigning seats. so on I got onto the first class carriage without knowing my seat number. Luckily an Indian guy who I'd met at the ruins was with me and he'd seen my ticket so knew I was class 1A but the guard when he saw me went mad and tried to kick me off into 2nd class, even showing my eticket didn't help/. Luckily the old Indian came to my rescue giving him abuse and I eventually got taken to the poshest end of the carriage. Later the Indian told me that coz I had a back pack I didn't look right for such expensive travel luxuries. Oh well all good and clean and comfortable and I was in a cabin with an Indian business man and a Japanese rural development officier. But no one really spoke and I just read my book. Infact in one respect 2nd class far more interesting .
Arrived in Bangalore at 6am and got a bit of a seedy place tonight near the station but it's got HOT water. Oh my God and the bathroom is massive....what wonderful bucketshower water fights could be had in there!! Oh well, just have to dream! My room is near the cleaners quarters and when I left later this morning there were about 10 men all sleeping on the floor around my bedroom door. I had to climb over them. Weird.
Love Bangalore though. Traffic is bad and rickshaws are allowed here, unlike Bombay, so I've had some pretty mental traffic weaving experiences. Had the most amazing food. The best yet was near to the hotel and was SOuthern Indian Thali. Loads of dishes with rice and chapatis and puffed up bread and everytime I finished a dish they quickly gave me another one. Such amazing service. It was like fat girl and feeders! All vegetarian and all to die for. Thai food is great, turkish too and fish and chips and baked beans but OH MY GOD indian cuisine beats them all. I could have died a happy woman after that meal (well, maybe not) Plus the best juice and mangos with icecream for dessert. The whole experince took hours. Want to do it all again tomorrow but I'm off to Mysore and the grand palace there. BUt I'm sure I'll come back to Bangalore. It's a full on western city here with so much good shopping. Lots of book shops and amazing kids books which aren't for sale in the UK any more. Old copies of Mr Men books and ancient enid blyton. It sends shivers of excitement right through me. Could have spent hours in the book shops but I have to carry everything and I'm not going through another post office experience again YET> Right it's 10pm and I'm being kicked off, night.

Right let's finish off Bangalore. Here is a picture of my rickshaw driver who fancied himself as a bit of a bollywood star. When I was taking photos of vehicles, more about them later he was adament that I took one of him so he promptly turned round WHILST DRIVING THROUGH MENTAL TRAFFIC. Busses, rickshaws and trucks just easily swerved round us. Indians have a 6th sense of servival. Well the massive JESUS on the front of the bus might have been religious coz it seems that the Christian community here go into advertising the Lord on public and private transport. Here's a great rear view of a rickshaw in Bangalore. (Sorry pictures have gone to top of page and I can't seem to move them or delete them!)

still in Hampi Thursday!

Right, gotta get this down before I go off on my over night firstclass train to Bangalore this evening. This morning Shiv met me at 8.30 and off we drove through the most amazing paddie fields, the best type of vivid green and loads of banana plantations. It was so beautiful. We parked up the rickshaw and then had to get onto this coracle for the river crossing. It spun in circles all the way across and coz I was away from the tourist areas the guys were really staring at me. Thank God I was wearing a shirt. Then Shiv and I walked for about 3 miles and ended up at this hill . We had to climb 600 steps in the 11am heat and at the top was a temple to Hanuman the Hindu monkey god. In Hindu mythology he was born here. He's the playful trouble maker in the Ramayana. If any of you lot remember Monkey magic that Chinese, Japanese Buddhist freaky kids programme where he said MONKEY alot and flew around on a cloud? Well it's him, but not the mental TV version. It was so peaceful and we just sat for ages in the temple while the monks chanted and read books. No pictures inside but you can get a general idea from this picture.
The Saddhu, who I'm gonna post on yesterday's blog was there and just in a cloth this time and he ended up blessing us. Got a nice orange mark on my face this time. Right just posted some bed covers back to UK. Ended up as a bit of a con really. bloody ridiculously expensive to post but was an experience in the post office. Covers had to be sewn in white cloth and then sealed with wax. I had to go and copy my passport and give 20 Rs backhander to the postman for his 'helpful free advice'. He even had the cheek to ask if I was retired and that's way I could have long holiday in India. I had a go at him saying bloody hell mate, get your eyes checked.

Still in Hampi Wednesday

Well, the mosquito net was pretty but the pillow was from hell. Like a rock so I ended up sleeping for a few hours on my pile of clothes. I'm so lucky that I can funtion fairly OK on minimal sleep. Computer today is shite, no USB port so no photos, which is a shame and no power outside and noletterson the keyboard so I'm having to touch typein thedark. Plus the space bar seems a bit cruddy too. But I had a great dinner so nothing can piss me off. Hampi is a totally vegetarian village (Coz it;s a religious site) and there is no beer either which is obviously a bigger problem for me, but the food is divine.

Moved to another computer. This one is better but I'm having problems with big pictures. I need to make them smaller to upload them. I;ll try again!

This morning I was upat 5 and at the temple for 6. I met the guide who was going to take me up the hill but it was dark and I was the only tourist around He told me to get on the back of his bike and I just didn;t feel too good about this. He told me to relax he was government of India guide but I still wasn't convinced and then I had a brainwave I took out my guide book which I had bought yesterday from a street kid and fired a few questions at him which i thought only a guide would know...like the end of the second dynasty dates and to name the different types of columns and their defining features and he passed with flying colours so off we went. he had to help me up the hill.As many of you know I'm a complete joey climbing hills and after all my twisted ankles and scrapped knees I was adamant I wouldn't fall down again so it was a slow process. He must have thought I was a right retard.
Sunrise was OK but a tad cloudy like a good English one, yesterday's was better and then we went past the Jain ashram, he told me all the monks are completely naked all the time and never even as much as kill a fly. Jesus, what a top religion jainism is. Love it!
then I hired a rickshaw driver who seemed very poor and his English was crap but he was smiley and helpful so I decided on him. We drove like mad bastards through the jungle stopping off for me to see massive shiva and krishna temples and a big lingam(Big willy temple with lots of water flowing round it) It's just been so quiet and in the last temple of the day men were playing the rock columns which supported the building and they sounded just like drums and panpipes. Was amazing.
then we rushed up a hill to catch the sunrise which wasn't as good as yesterday either. Saw 2 guys playing a board game at this place and I went over to see if i could have a game of whatever it was. I was horrified the idiots were playing snakes and ladders...what the hell?!!
Going out again with rickshaw Shiv tomorrow morning on a riverside race. I need to wear a more supportive bra I think!. One last try with photos. Night

yes, managed it. This is a massive ganesh statue .

This a family who couldn't speak a work of English but were more than willing to have their photos taken. One thing I've noticed is the bright colours of the women's saris. They are amazing. Men are grimmer and all seem to wear horrid nylon slacks and think moustaches are really sexy.

Hampi

Made it! Bloody hell what a cool place it is here. Sorry I don't know how to turn the photos round but at least it is on! Oh I do now. This is the main bazaar street in Hampi and the temple is at the end and is amazing. Got here about 10am and yet again not a wink of sleep. the bus was something else but at least I had leg room and it was fairly comfortable but the 12 hours of bumpy roads and mad helter skelter driving put stop to any kind of sleep. the bus had JESUS written really massively on the front windscreen. Unfortunately I didn't get my camera out in time but it did make me laugh coz the words impaired the driver's vision and why the hell was Jesus written there? I don't think it had anything to do with the son of God! Last night before I left on the journey I had my last meal at the hotel and got chatting to this rather serious looking German woman but she was pretty friendly really. She was there for an 11 day ayervedic health treatment she was having massages everyday and had to only eat fruit for 7 days. Doesn't sound too much fun to me. I offered her half my beer but she obviously refused to partake!
Booked ahead again for this place and chose a place called Vicky's (THere you go Vicky because it was named after you! cheers for your comment on yesterdays blog we must have been thinking about each other at the same time.) It's good and clean and I crashed out til 3pm, which isn;t a bad thing coz it's just too hot to be outside. I'm really not getting much of a tan, you won't believe I've been to India.
then I got up and wandered around. This place is magical. loads of hindu worshippers and hippies and families and locals all just stolling around. The main temple is about 600 years old but lots of the ruins are much older. Saw the sunset from a hill behind the temple t'was amazing like a massive red fluffy peach. Really looked 3D. Tomorrow I'm up at 6 for a rickshaw drive to another hill which has been declared one of the best places in the world to see a sun rise!
Shouldn't be bad then! Got chatting to a shop owner and her daughter and went inside the temple. You can't take photos inside but there was a holy elephant which will bless you with it's trunk and I got blessed by a holy man and made to drink holy water...I got carried away and really got into character and drunk it so probably will catch some kinda lurgy now. Got a red bhindi mark put on my face too. Look like a local now!
Loads going on.
Just had Thali, which is loads of individual curries and chapatis and rice and 2 bananas for dessert for about 80p. was really tasty but the owner just wanted to sell me Bangh lassi which is the yoghurt drink laced with hash. I just had to tell him that it's not a good idea to get really stoned on your own in a new place when you are carrying all you important documents on you. (Well I didn't tell him the last bit) Right a few last photos of the band which paraded through earlier playing pretty good jazz and the shopkeeper and her daughter. Up at 5 tomorrow so I'm off to my bed which has a wonderful vibrant pink mosquito net over it.